The Standards That Define Who I Am
A lost man has no standards. A reborn man lives by principles that are unshakeable, regardless of circumstances, emotions, or external pressure.
These aren’t goals or aspirations. These are identity statements – the non-negotiable standards that define who I am and how I show up in the world.
I don’t always get them perfect. But I never compromise on them.
1. Raw Honesty
With yourself and with others
What this means: I tell the truth, especially when it’s uncomfortable. I don’t sugarcoat feedback, rationalize bad decisions, or pretend things are fine when they’re not. I call myself out on my own bullshit before anyone else can. It doesn’t mean you speak without reserve and cause deliberate offence. It means you stand behind your values and speak the truth that matters.
Why it’s non-negotiable: Lost men lie to themselves constantly. They pretend they’re fine, make excuses for their lack of progress, and avoid difficult truths. Raw honesty is the foundation of rebirth – you can’t change what you won’t acknowledge. If you’re worried about upsetting someone through your honesty – wait until you see where dishonesty gets you.
How I live this:
- I admit when I don’t know something instead of pretending
- I have difficult conversations instead of avoiding them
- I acknowledge my mistakes quickly and learn from them
- I speak truth in my relationships, even when it creates tension
2. Daily Movement
A healthy body is a healthy mind
What this means: I move my body every single day, no exceptions. Whether it’s lifting weights, going for a walk, or playing with my kids – my body gets movement daily.
Why it’s non-negotiable: Physical stagnation leads to mental stagnation. Movement creates energy, clears thinking, and builds the discipline that carries over into every other area of life. A man who can’t move his body consistently can’t move his life consistently.
How I live this:
- Morning movement to start my day with energy
- I choose stairs over elevators, walking over driving when possible
- I use physical activity to process emotions and solve problems
- I model healthy habits for my family
3. Family First, Always
This extends to close friends – nurture your network
What this means: My family gets my best energy, not my leftover energy. When I’m with them, I’m present. When they need me, everything else can wait. This extends to my closest friends who are like family. Nurture the relationships that matter and this will pay dividends in the long-term.
Why it’s non-negotiable: Success means nothing if you sacrifice the people you love to achieve it. Family and close relationships are the foundation of a meaningful life. Everything else is just stuff.
How I live this:
- Phone goes away during family time
- I say no to opportunities that compromise family well-being
- I invest time and energy in relationships that matter
- I show up fully for the people who matter most
4. Seek Knowledge
This allows you to develop informed opinions and extend your network
What this means: I’m constantly learning through reading, conversations, experiences, and reflection. I seek knowledge not to appear smart, but to understand the world better and contribute meaningfully to conversations.
Why it’s non-negotiable: Ignorant men make poor decisions and shallow connections. Knowledge isn’t just about intelligence – it’s about being able to engage with others, understand different perspectives, and make informed choices about your life. Know enough to enter a room and join in with the conversation, providing value.
How I live this:
- I read daily, choosing books that challenge my thinking
- I engage in conversations with people who know more than me
- I ask questions instead of pretending to know everything
- I apply what I learn rather than just collecting information
5. Believe in Something Bigger
Extend purpose beyond yourself
What this means: I live for more than just my own comfort and success. Whether it’s serving my family, helping other men find their way, or contributing to my community – my purpose extends beyond myself. For some this is religion, for others it’s about impact.
Why it’s non-negotiable: Self-centered men are miserable men. Purpose gives meaning to struggle and direction to effort. When you live for something bigger than yourself, you access strength and resilience you didn’t know you had.
How I live this:
- I serve other men who are lost and looking for direction
- I model the kind of leadership my children can be proud of
- I contribute to causes and communities that matter
- I make decisions based on legacy, not just immediate gratification
6. Never Engage in Pettiness
It makes you look bad and wastes your time
What this means: I don’t get pulled into gossip, drama, or small-minded conflicts. I don’t argue with people on the internet. I don’t hold grudges or seek petty revenge. I stay above the noise.
Why it’s non-negotiable: Petty men are weak men. Getting dragged into drama and small conflicts diminishes your energy, reputation, and focus. Strong men stay focused on what actually matters and let small things go.
How I live this:
- I walk away from conversations that turn into gossip
- I don’t engage with trolls or critics online
- I address real issues directly and let ego battles go
- I focus my energy on building rather than tearing down
7. Approach with an Open Mind
Allow others to impress upon you as you impress upon them
What this means: I enter every conversation and situation ready to learn something new. I don’t assume I know everything about a person or situation. I listen to understand, not just to respond. All relationships exist through the value trade of give-and-take.
Why it’s non-negotiable: Closed-minded men miss opportunities, insights, and connections. When you approach life with curiosity instead of judgment, you learn faster, build better relationships, and make better decisions.
How I live this:
- I ask questions and listen to the answers
- I consider perspectives that challenge my own beliefs
- I give people the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise
- I change my mind when presented with better information
8. Daily Reflection
Spend time to unpack the day, track goals and count your blessings
What this means: Every day, I spend time reflecting on what happened, what I learned, and what I’m grateful for. I track my progress toward goals and honestly assess where I fell short.
Why it’s non-negotiable: Unreflected life is an unchanged life. Daily reflection creates self-awareness, gratitude, and continuous improvement. It’s how you ensure you’re living intentionally rather than just reacting to life.
How I live this:
- Evening journaling to process the day’s events
- Regular goal review to stay on track
- Gratitude practice to maintain perspective
- Honest self-assessment without self-judgment
Living by Standards, Not Feelings
These non-negotiables aren’t suggestions or goals – they’re the standards I live by regardless of how I feel, what’s happening around me, or what’s convenient in the moment.
When I’m tired, I still move my body. When it’s uncomfortable, I still tell the truth. When I’m busy, my family still comes first. When I’m challenged, I still keep an open mind.
This is what it means to live with integrity – your actions align with your values, no matter what.
Your Non-Negotiables
Every man needs his own set of non-negotiables – the standards that define who he is and how he shows up in the world.
The lost man has no standards. He bends with every wind, compromises on everything, and stands for nothing.
The reborn man knows who he is and lives accordingly.
Ready to discover your own non-negotiables and start living by them?
Let’s talk about what rebirth looks like for you.
Ready to stop being lost and start living by your own standards? Book your FREE 30 minute RE:Birth Call.
